


Marichat May: Nap Lap

by dreaminginscenes



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, F/M, Fanart, Illustrations, Marichat, Marichat May
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 21:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18949147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminginscenes/pseuds/dreaminginscenes
Summary: In which Chat Noir has to deal with an extremely inebriated Marinette.





	Marichat May: Nap Lap

**Author's Note:**

> A submission for Marichat May 2019 on tumblr!

He didn't mean to get Marinette drunk, really. Honestly. But if he tried to tell anyone that he sincerely had no idea that rum ice cream actually had rum in it, and that he had let Marinette eat a whole pint on her own, no one would buy it. Especially if it was her dad.

 _Oh gosh, PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, DON'T let her dad see this,_ he prayed to whatever entity saw over accidental drunkenness. Or accidentally getting your closest friend drunk.

Marinette let out a little hiccup. "Awww are we going home already, Kitty?"

He lowered her to the ground beside the roof's trap door. She plopped down on her rear with a bubbly giggle.

"Yes we are, because you need to go to bed." He muttered a curse as the door's hinges squeaked.

"I'mmmm not-- _hic_ \--sleepy…"

Chat groaned to himself. He really did a number on her, didn't he? "Yes, you are. Now come on, let's get inside."

"But the night sky is soooo beauuuutiful!" She threw her arms wide with a theatrical flair. "Paris NEVER sleeps!"

"SHH!!!" In a panic Chat clamped a clawed hand over her mouth. _"You're gonna wake up half the neighborhood!"_

She only laughed under his glove with another hiccup. She set a clumsy fingers on his lips as well, mocking his shushing. He swatted her hand away and attempted to hoist her to her feet. If he had thought she was uncoordinated while sober, this was like trying to get a foal to stand on two legs and ride a unicycle while playing _La Marsellaise_ on a kazoo.

 _Actually,_ Chat thought to himself as he resorted to scooping up Marinette like a rag doll. _I'd prefer the horse and kazoo…_

He stumbled through the trap door, but managed to keep Marinette--now quieted down, thank the high heavens--from crashing down the steps. He nearly fumbled her as he landed unsteadily on the floor and tossed her on the bed.

Marinette didn't seem to care about the near mishap and flopped over on the comforter with another drunken laugh. 

Chat set his hands on his hips. "Okay, are you good? Are you gonna get some sleep?"

As though to simply contradict him, Marinette began to warble a semi-coherent tune. _"Ohh Frere Jaques, Frere Jaques, dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?"_

He moaned out loud--it didn't matter if she heard, lost as she was now. "Am I gonna have to stay and make sure you don't do anything stupid?"

Marinette sat up with a loud gasp. "Chat!" She smacked the place beside her on the comforter. "Let's talk about our _feelings_!"

 _Apparently so…_ He thought with a chuckle. There was no point denying her until she passed out from exhaustion. He might as well play along with her inebriated requests. 

He took the spot beside her on the cushy bed, sitting on his heels. "Alright, what do you wanna talk about?"

She opened her mouth, but released a little burp instead of an intelligible sentence. "Oh my! Pardon me!" She exclaimed and fell apart into near-insane giggling again. 

Try as he might to hold back, Chat caved to the gaiety as well. Yes, she would have a horrible hang-over in a few hours, and he would feel terrible as she dealt with the fallout of his idiocy. But for the moment, Marinette seemed to be having the time of her life; why hinder her glee?

"You dare to laugh at me, sir??" She dropped her hands to her waist in mock offense.

Chat scoffed at her. "And what else do expect me to do, Princess?"

Marinette shot up suddenly, straightening proudly on her knees still. "Oh I know what you're thinking, Mister Chat Noir!" She threw her arm in a wide and sloppily arc, gesturing to the general…whatever she was thinking she saw. "You're probably wondering what a place like me is doing in a girl like this." She slapped her hand to her chest. "I may not be much to look at, and I may not be much of a superhero, but I am _proud_ of what I am!"

 _Much of a superhero?_ Chat wondered for an instant. "And what you are?"

"I…am a _librarian_." She slurred out, nearly incomprehensible.

"You're a seamstress, Marinette."

"THAT I am, mon sir!"

"Monsieur."

"That's _Madame_ to you!"

Chat stifled a snort of laughter. He had to remind himself it should not have been absolutely hilarious to watch her tumble down her drunken spiral.

With a thump that sent a twinge through his nerves she landed in a crouch on her hands and knees directly in front of Chat. "And now," she wheezed out, "IIIII am going to kiss you…"

Chat heart did a somersault. She was incredibly close to his face, and was staring him dead in the eye with a set determination that meant she would not be swayed from her intentions.

He swallowed hard to keep the butterflies fluttering through his gut somewhat in control. Did he want to kiss her? 

_OH_ yeah. After weeks of fighting the temptation, here was the opportunity literally staring him in the face. He would be a moron not to take the chance. 

But did he want his first kiss with Marinette to be when she was roaring drunk? Probably not. But was he attempting to stop her? No, he realized as she leaned closer. He could smell the rum on her breath now; it was not nearly deterring as it should have been.

Time slowed as Chat's mind raced. _This is not how a first kiss is supposed to go!! I'm supposed to sweep her off her feet, not get caught in the most unromantic scenario conceivable!_

_Then again,_ Chat thought with another flip of his stomach, _Are either of us ever gonna get the courage unless one of us is completely out of our wits?_

Chat reeled back to reality with a snap, comprehending how close Marinette was now. He was going to do it, he realized, his heart pounding faster in his chest. He closed his eyes and prepared to close the gap between them.

_Thump._

His eyes flew open to find Marinette face-first in his lap, already snoring.

Chat huffed a strand of blonde hair from his face. "Aaaaand she's out. Great."

As delicately as he could, Chat shuffled his hands under her shoulders to free himself. She let out a little moan at the disturbance. Like a kid with their favorite plush, she sleepily wrapped her arms around his middle and snuggled into his lap again.

  


Chat threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine; I'm stuck; fantastic." What now? Would he have to wait until morning to escape? He would probably detransform, and he could only hope he had remembered to grab some Camembert for Plagg before he left, otherwise there would be a very embarrassing reveal when she sobered up. Which, he now guessed, he would also have to oversee before she faced her parents the next day. _I got her drunk, I better be willing to set her straight…_

Marinette mumbled something in her stupor and let out a content sigh. Despite his present frustration, Chat smiled to himself. How could he be annoyed when she looked so peaceful?

He settled back against the pillows as best he could without waking Marinette. She shifted over his legs, thankfully allowing him to stretch out and relieve the tingle from the awkward position. 

It seemed he would have to stay through the night as she slept in his lap. _But,_ he mused as his eyelids began to droop, _maybe that's not so bad._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Yes, this was absolutely taken from _The Mummy_ , because that scene is too funny.


End file.
